i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize