I will die if light touches me.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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