Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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