This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
someone owes me an orgasm
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
