no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
