One girl and one boy is just not enough.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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