oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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