i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
