Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
