Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
