Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize
