I am in a vortex of obligation.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
