Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
