If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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