I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
