he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
