If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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