Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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