Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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