this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
She has the best kind of daddy issues
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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