idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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