is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
You're a waste of cheezeits
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
