omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
you win again, gameday.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
