What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
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