R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
mondays should just be called national damage control day
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize