I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i came on her dog
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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