One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
