she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
