woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
You don't make any sense
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