I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Is Oprah even human
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
