5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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