yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
