Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
