Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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