i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
