forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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