saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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