i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
