i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
