She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
