Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Shitshow foam night was such a success
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Randomize
