we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
