I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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