btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize
