I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize