1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Randomize