Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
