i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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