Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
