I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
