I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
