He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Randomize
