If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize