I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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