the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I would ride that face into the sunset
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
