Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
