I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
