Old men and throwing up are my life now.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
