An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
