Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
no you cant smoke seaweed
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
