Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
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