i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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