Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize